WHAT NOT TO CALL YOUR BOOK

Hey you know that book you're writing? Well two things. Firstly: it's shit. No one's going to buy the notion of a cat that can travel through time backwards only assassinating world leaders she deems to be evil. Secondly: you've given it a terrible title. Quantum Kitty violates rules eight and ten of Eric Puchner's list of laws decreeing what you may and may not call your story. Below is his list:

The Faux Poetic but Authentically Meaningless (“Hunt the Mist Slowly”)

The Purely Descriptive (“One Early Morning in Topeka at Dawn”)

The Lofty Abstraction, a.k.a. the Bad Kundera (“The Lonely Shackles of Mortality”)

The Hardy Boys Special (“The Hike from Hell”)

The Grammatically Complete Sentence (“Gladys Pemberton Strikes It Rich”)

The Inspirational Cliché (“Dreams of Rebirth”)

The Uninspirational Cliché (“Losing My Marbles”)

The Alliterative Tongue Twister (“Peripatetic Papa”)

The Allusion to Another, Much More Famous Work of Literature (“The Story of Christ”)

The It-Doesn’t-Get-Any-Cuter-Than-This (“Runaway Grandma”)

The Melodramatic Image (“Blood Dries Brown”)

The My-Life-Changed-Unexpectedly-and-I’m-Going-to-Tell-You-About-It (“Epiphany in a Tattoo Parlor”)

The Bad McSweeney (“How We Lie to the Moon, and How the Moon Lies to Us”)

The Scratch ‘n Sniff, a.k.a. But-It-Will-Make-Such-a-Lovely-Cover-Someday (“In the Valley of the Gardenia Blossoms”)

Read the accompanying article here.