Hey you know that book you're writing? Well two things. Firstly: it's shit. No one's going to buy the notion of a cat that can travel through time backwards only assassinating world leaders she deems to be evil. Secondly: you've given it a terrible title. Quantum Kitty violates rules eight and ten of Eric Puchner's list of laws decreeing what you may and may not call your story. Below is his list:
The Faux Poetic but Authentically Meaningless (“Hunt the Mist Slowly”)
The Purely Descriptive (“One Early Morning in Topeka at Dawn”)
The Lofty Abstraction, a.k.a. the Bad Kundera (“The Lonely Shackles of Mortality”)
The Hardy Boys Special (“The Hike from Hell”)
The Grammatically Complete Sentence (“Gladys Pemberton Strikes It Rich”)
Amorphis | The Way If you listen to this song you should be able to: fly a MIG fighter jet into Waziristan to hunt down Osama; win a bare-knuckle Muay Thai tournament; race a dragster through rush hour traffic; elude the police in a roof-top chase. That's right, it's a song which gives you amazing powers. It has a Moog solo. And a wall-of-mirrors 80s-sounding guitar intro. It even has some fast kick drums. It's the kind of song that - had you produced it (and unless your name is Simon Efemey, you didn't) - it would be front and centre on your CV.
The album which The Way is taken from - Tuonela - is bad and under no circumstances should you listen to it. Previously Amorphis were a hairy metal band from Helsinki. This album marked their attempted transition into weird-but-bland AOR. The whole thing kind of washes over you, leaving absolutely no impression. And that's a hell of a feat for an album with this many terrible saxophone solos. The only thing the album has going for it is this: a Finish doom metal band is attempting to expand their style to include smooth jazz. On paper its hilarious. In reality it sounds like a studio full of European session-musicians "cutting loose".
Today an anonymous GUEST BLOGGER and music industry insider shares with us his forbidden passion for one of music's thwarted geniuses
I don't like R Kelly. I don't like Ne-Yo. I don't like Jaheim. I don't like Musiq Soulchild. I quite like Erykah Badu, but I don't really like the people that listen to her. However, I do LOVE D'Angelo.
What's the difference between him and other neo-soul / R'n'B artists? I could start ranting about how the term R'n'B has been misappropriated, and no longer really stands for Rhythm and Blues. It is very true that D'angelo is a R'n'B artist in the truest sense of the term, but I'll leave these types of rants to the Erykah fans. Then why do I like him so much, you ask? The honest answer... He created a perfect sex album for my formative years. One of two.
You've got a girl back in your room, you offer to give her a massage because she looks pretty tired / tense / stressed / female... what album are you going to play to set the mood just before you go for the well-timed reach-around?
If she has a leaning towards white music (bands, guitars, and student-friendly interpretations of black music - you know like trip-hop and stuff), then Portishead - Dummyis what you pull out. If she has more of a leaning towards black music (you know, rap and stuff), then D'Angelo - Voodoo is the only choice. I have to love an album that has helped my penis enter vaginas, even purely out of a sense of indebtedness.
Ultimately though, it was the sexuality of the album that led to D'Angelo's demise. It did not help that he was signed to Virgin - a major label who was looking to launch D'Angelo as a household name. This brilliant sophomore album to their credit was marketed as a serious soul album. However, apparently D'Angelo had to have his shirt off to really show just how serious and soulful an album this actually was.
Most MTV fans will know D'Angelo for this absolutely ridiculous music video where he appears to be naked. It was his manager's idea. The video did what it aimed to achieve, which was to sell records. But it was a very, very bad move...
D'Angelo himself and many of those around him has stated this music video and hit song is what ruined him . He attracted a huge new audience, and not the audience he wanted. He embarked on a tour for the album where as soon as he got on stage, thousands of screaming female fans were chanting and commanding him to take off his clothes. Ahmir "Questlove" Thompson, the tour director and drummer in the live show states the reason why he cancelled and abandoned many of his shows and tour dates: "He'd get angry and start breaking shit. The audience thinking, 'Fuck your art, I wanna see your ass!'"
He ended up becoming an alcoholic, he put on weight, he was arrested for a car crash where he was high on marijuana, been and done rehab. Most importantly, he hasn't made an album since. Virgin dropped funding for his third album because he became controlling, slow and possessive of the music. He insisted on playing every part on every instrument himself (like his musical idol Prince). He is more than a capable musician to do this and had done it a lot on previous recordings, but I can only assume he was too drunk to do it quickly or proficiently enough for Virgin's liking. A new album is meant to surface at some point in 2010, but I hear this same rumour every year...
Despite the albums aftermath, Voodoo geniunely is one of the most soulful albums in recent recorded history and can sit well amongst the multiple influences that he studied when making this album - Sly and the Family Stone, Prince, Fela Kuti, Syl Johnson, Al Green, James Brown, Funkadelic, Stevie Wonder et al. If you don't believe me, check out this promo EPK video below.
This EPK was produced shortly before the release of the album and explains his stance on the creation of Voodoo. He recorded it in Electric Lady Studio (Jimi Hendrix's studio and spiritual home) and played the same Rhodes that Stevie Wonder used. Interestingly, check out Eric Clapton losing his mind over the music. D'Angelo clevery immersed himself in the sounds of the artists he aspired to emulate and pay homage to. The results speak for themselves. The album deeply resonates with the soul of his musical forefathers rather than the tinny aural spectrum that his modern-day contemporaries display.
The only problem with this EPK, D'angelo spends most of this video topless...
Hey you know that book you're writing? Well two things. Firstly: it's shit. No one's going to buy the notion of a cat that can travel through time backwards only assassinating world leaders she deems to be evil. Secondly: you've given it a terrible title. Quantum Kitty violates rules eight and ten of Eric Puchner's list of laws decreeing what you may and may not call your story. Below is his list:
If she has a leaning towards white music (bands, guitars, and student-friendly interpretations of black music - you know like trip-hop and stuff), then 
D'Angelo himself and many of those around him has stated this music video and hit song 
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